she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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