this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
