Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
