I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
