HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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