I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
