just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
