this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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