I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
