this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
