Non-Jews are for practice
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
