You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize