At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
