false alarm. still invincible.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
