After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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