Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
