This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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