Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize