Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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