guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
