Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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