So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
