You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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