The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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