feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
