Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
