I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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