Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
