I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
