Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
