So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize