i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just puked most of my soul out..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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