are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
