I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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