definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
