She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
