I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
this is an emotional support booty call
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
