i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
