On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
