Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
