i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
we're so committed to being not committed
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
