I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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