he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
