i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
