you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
