What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
