i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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