To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
handjob tips. give me some.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
