Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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