Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
