also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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