theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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