my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's always time for handjobs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
