YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
