You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
