About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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