you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
