Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize