i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
