I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
